"GOD is in Control"

Our "angel" GOD sent us at the sewing machine. Pam helping Hannah Beth cut out my dress.
Pam and Jean, another friend that is learning to play violin,
modeling their beautiful Renassaince dresses they made.

"I know, O LORD, that the way of man is not in himself, that it is not in man who walks to direct his steps." Jeremiah 10:23

Dear Friends,
Before I get into the story this morning, I wanted to Praise the LORD that Johnny was released from the hip doctor this week! Thank you all so very much for your prayers for all of us during this time. He continues to get better each day, and GOD has amazed us at what HE has done-we know that HE answered your prayers for us. Second, I'd like to ask you to pray for our friends Charlotte Murray and her two children. Charlotte's husband, John, went to be with the LORD suddenly yesterday after going in the hospital earlier this week with what the doctors thought at first to be a bleeding ulcer, and then treated him for liver poisoning. We watched Charlotte grow up in the LORD as a single mom when we were members of Elkmont Baptist, then the LORD graciously brought John to be her husband and blessed them with a son. Our hearts are hurting for her and her children in this sudden loss. Thank you so much for remembering them in your prayers.

A few weeks ago, Hannah Beth and I had the "opportunity" to play Renaissance music once again with our string instrument group in Huntsville. I say "opportunity" because we're just not that into Renaissance music, but our music teacher lined this up and invited us to play one Saturday afternoon. I thought Hannah Beth was willing, but after I told our teacher we would play, she really struggled with going, and tried every way she could to get out of it. It wasn't that big of a deal that we be there. There were several other's playing and we weren't really needed...he wouldn't have minded if we didn't come, but there was just something in me that wanted to be there and... Hannah Beth had to be there, or I couldn't play my solo that she accompanied me on:).
That Saturday morning, as we drove along to Huntsville listening to "GOD is in Control," by Twila Paris, I told Hannah Beth, "you know, honey, to be honest, I am not that crazy about playing today, i just feel like this is what we are supposed to do." It was a beautiful Saturday, and I knew the Huntsville Canoe Club was out somewhere kayaking down some river, and my heartstrings pulled to "the call of the wild." Instead, we were dressed up in borrowed Renaissance clothes, going to some kind of " feast," to play for folks who pretended to live in Renaissance times. No wonder Hannah Beth didn't want to be there.
When we pulled up to the Knights of Columbus hall where this "feast" was taking place, Hannah Beth was slumping down in her seat, saying "Mama, you owe me for this one." There were a few folks standing outside in Gothic black pedaling Renaissance wares. Thankfully, we saw our teacher, and our friend, Pam, and that made both of us feel more at ease. Pam was dressed in a beautiful maroon Renaissance dress that she had made, and she looked so pretty.
As we went inside and got signed in, we asked our teacher where to sit. He didn't assign us any specific seats so Hannah Beth sat on one side of Pam, and I sat on the other. That was unusual for us, because most of the time, we sit beside each other. It worked out fine, though, and Pam played along on the violin between us. I could hear Hannah Beth just fine for my solo:).
While we played, this group had their feast and didn't really seem to pay much attention to us, and to be honest, I wasn't paying a whole lot of attention to them, except I did try to smile while we played, hoping somehow that the love of JESUS might shine through to them. They didn't appear to be a very happy bunch. It just seemed odd to me that grown folks would want to sit around in Renaissance outfits and act like they were kings and queens and knights and pretend to be whoever they were pretending to be. It might have seemed odd to them that we would want to give up our beautiful Sat. afternoon to dress up in Renaissance outfits and play early music.
After they finished eating, and we finished playing they invited us to stay and eat. Hannah Beth and I were of the same mind, and couldn't wait to get out of there, so we invited Pam to go and eat with us, and hit the road...what a blessing that turned out to be.
When we all got in the car, Pam shared with Hannah Beth and I that we were the answers to her prayers. She said she was so nervous about playing that day, and she asked GOD to help her not be. She said when we showed up that day and sat down on each side of her, that was the answer to her prayers! I was so glad she shared that with me, or I would still be wondering why we played that day...she just went on and on about how much it meant to her for GOD to answer her prayers like that, and for us to be there just for her. It meant so much to me that GOD used Hannah Beth and me unknowingly to be the answer to her prayers and for Hannah Beth to hear that we were...it sure helped get me off the hook!
As we got out of the car at Wendy's, for some more traditional food than what they were serving at the Renaissance feast, I asked Pam about the possibility of her helping Hannah Beth and I make some Renaissance dresses. I had been looking for someone for several months since our first occasion to need the dresses and thought it would serve a two fold purpose of helping Hannah Beth learn to sew, and us getting the dresses made we needed. Pam said that she would be glad to help us, and I thought, LORD you are so good. You allowed us to be the answer to Pam's prayers, and now YOU are using her to be the answer to my heart's desire. I don't remember actually praying about that desire, but GOD had sure put it in my heart, and now HE was providing the answer through this "angel" HE had sent our way named Pamela.
We had a wonderful time eating lunch that day at Wendy's, sharing how we had come to know CHRIST, and reminiscing about our school days...we both attended the same high school, and though she graduated 5 years ahead of me, I clearly remember her for her kindness to me in school when she was a cheerleader and I was just a little 8th grade nobody.
The following week after lessons, Pam met us at the fabric store, and so patiently helped us pick out everything we needed for these dresses...dresses we needed not only for any future Renaissance "gigs" but for our homeschool banquet once a year that has a middle ages theme to it. Hannah Beth picked out a beautiful burnt orange maroon material for her dress, and I picked out royal blue for mine. Pam was so kind and helpful and stayed in the store a long time with Hannah Beth getting everything together.
The past two weeks, our "angel" has been coming on Tuesday afternoons, bringing her sewing machine and supplies, and helping us get the pattern laid out and the dresses cut out. In the above pictures, is our angel "Pam" in her Renaissance dress, along with our friend Jean, who also plays violin," sporting the dresses they both made after the Renaissance "feast." The next one is Pam at the sewing machine, and the last one is her and Hannah Beth working on cutting out my dress.
We have enjoyed each other's fellowship so very much as we have worked on the dresses, and sang and played gospel songs, our first love in music, after we finish working on the dresses. The newfound friendship that GOD has given us both in answer to each other's prayers and desires is an extra special blessing from the LORD. GOD truly has given me "exceeding abundantly more than I ask or thought" when HE put the desire in my heart for someone to help us make these dresses. HE brought a CHRISTian sister, and a new friend, who has been such a blessing, encouragement and help to our lives... and she can sing harmony! Wow...does she have a beautiful singing voice and loves to sing for the LORD! Pam is blessed with so many talents and she is so humble and ever so willing to share these talents the LORD has given her to be a blessing to someone else. We both know the LORD is up to something, and we're just enjoying watching what HE is doing. Pam even sang a gospel song with us and our dear friends Jerry and Louise Todd last night at our Dulcimer group gathering. Jerry named the group, Hannah Beth and Friends..." I used to be Hannah Beth's Mom, now I am her friend:).
I wanted to share this with you this week, how kind and good and gracious that GOD is to us, HIS children. I know that these are not "big" things in the scheme of life, but it's the little ways that our heavenly FATHER meets our needs, and uses us to meet other's needs, that reveals to me how very much HE loves us. "Delight yourself in the LORD and HE will give you the desires of your heart," Psalm 37:4 has been a verse as I grow older in the LORD, I see HIM constantly fulfilling in my life and the life of HIS children." As we "delight in HIM," the LORD puts HIS desires in our hearts to accomplish HIS plans and purposes. To me, the dress issue is the smaller desire HE put in my heart to accomplish a larger purpose that HE has in mind...one of which I'm not sure. We could have bought these dresses, hired someone to make them, or continue to borrow them from our dear friends, the CHRISTians, but GOD used these desires to get us together. As we look back on all our music lessons and how HE has lined everything up for our lessons to coincide with Pam we know it's a GOD thing...it's all a GOD thing. Sometimes, GOD puts desires in our heart, and it takes a while for HIM to fulfill them, such as a few months with the dresses, but sometimes it's years. That's the more difficult place to walk, but GOD gives HIS grace to walk there too. HE teaches us patience, and all kinds of good things along the way that takes time to grow in our hearts...these things don't just spring up overnight no more than an oak tree grows to maturity overnight. What a joy it is when HE does fulfill that long time desire and we look back and see all the ways that HE has worked in accomplishing that desire HE put into our hearts.

Indeed, GOD does "govern in the affairs of men," even down to guiding our footsteps to play at a Renaissance feast on a beautiful Sat. afternoon to be the answer to HIS child's cry...and HE provided that someone to be the answer to our heart's desire to help us make some dresses we had hoped to make since last September. It does increase my faith in my FATHER, in the bigger issues that I struggle with, that if HE is interested and makes the effort to meet our needs and wants in the little areas of life that concern our hearts, how much more faithful is HE in the areas that are more important to us and to HIM? The Scripture that I've used many times comes to my mind, "If you then being evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Heavenly FATHER give good gifts to those who ask HIM," Matthew 7:11. GOD invites us to ask HIM, and to ask generously, because HE loves to lavish HIS love upon our hearts and in our lives because we are HIS children. "Behold what manner of love the FATHER has given unto us, that we should be called the children of GOD." Romans 8:32 says, " HE who did not spare HIS own SON, but delivered HIM up for us all, how will HE not also with HIM freely give us all things?"
Yes, my faith is increased, as I see how GOD orchestrated the events of that day a few weeks ago to answer the heart's desires of HIS children. As Hannah Beth and I drove along listening to "GOD is in Control," that morning, I am reminded once again, that truly GOD does ordain the footsteps of HIS children, even when we don't realize what HE is up to. The line in the chorus, "GOD is in control, we will choose to remember and never be shaken," reminds me that when I do "choose to remember" He is in control, it helps my heart to not give way to fear, impatience, or whatever else shakes me. As you already know, I'm not always victorious in remembering:) but when I do, I truly do have HIS peace.
My sister shared Proverbs 3:5-6 with me several years ago while I was a student at the University of Montevallo and it has become one of my life verses. It helps me remember "GOD is in control" when I wonder what in the world HE is up to: "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart, and lean not on thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge HIM, and HE will direct thy paths"...including those paths that lead to a "Renaissance" feast on a beautiful Saturday afternoon!

With all HIS love,
mitzi

"I have lived, Sir, a long time, and the longer I live, the more convincing proofs I see of this truth-that GOD governs in the affairs of men. And if a sparrow cannot fall to the ground without HIS notice, is it probable that an empire can rise without HIS aid? We have been assured, Sir, in the sacred writings, that "except the LORD build the House they labour in vain that build it." I firmly believe this." -Benjamin Franklin




GOD is in Control by Twila Paris

This is no time for fear This is a time for faith and determination

Don't lose the vision here Carried away by emotion

Hold on to all that you hide in your heart

There is one thing that has always been true

It holds the world together

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken

God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him, we know

God is in control, oh God is in control

History marches on

There is a bottom line drawn across the ages

Culture can make its plan

Oh, but the line never changes

No matter how the deception may fly

There is one thing that has always been true

It will be true forever

He has never let you down

Why start to worry now?

He is still the Lord of all we see

And He is still the loving Father

Watching over you and me

watching over you...watching over me..

watching over every things..watching over you..

watching over me..every little sparrow..every little things...

It Snowed!

It snowed here last week, not a whole lot but it was pretty while it lasted! Landscaping by Joe and Tom Radcliffe, with some help from Hannah Beth and a little from John Mac Evans:)!
Snow in the woods where I enjoy praying and walking the dogs!
Dixie and Midnight taking a dip in the creek, Midnight loves retrieving the ball!
Dixie coming out of the creek...I don't think they know what cold is!

"I Am YOURS"

'"I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness." Jeremiah 31:3
"HOW GREAT is the love the FATHER has lavished on us, that we should be called children of GOD! And that is what we are! 1 John 1:3

Dear Friends,

A couple of weeks ago on Sunday morning, we were getting ready to go to church. It was going to be my husband's first day back to church since his surgery. As we were getting ready, my husband and I had a "domestic." It was really not that big of a deal, but I got really, really angry, and decided that I wasn't going to church (i don't think I have ever not gone to church before because of anger). My daughter, who had left earlier for Sunday School called and said that they had painted the walls in the hall of the church, so that gave me an excuse not to go since I'm very sensitive to paint, but I wasn't planning to go anyway. Instead, I got the food ready that they were supposed to carry to church to eat afterwards, and I stormed out to walk my dogs. Ordinarily, on Sunday morning, I would have never done that, because I wouldn't want the neighbors to see me and be a stumbling block to them. This morning, I didn't care... too much. It did bother me some, but I went anyway, through the neighborhood, to the field where I get a lot of thinking and praying done during the week. As I walked out in that field, I don't remember what I thought or prayed, I know the LORD was with me though, because HE always is, even when I have "ill manners." I got the idea as I walked along, that I was going to get my Bible, and go down to the river and just sit and pray and worship the LORD there. When I got back, I did get my Bible and camp chair and threw them in the back of the car. To be honest, by the time I left, I really didn't feel like going, but I drove down to the place that i love to paddle and spend time with the LORD. By the time, I got there, I decided to turn around and come home, I just didn't feel like reading my Bible or praying. So, that's what I did, I turned around and came home. When I got home, my husband called me and I still wasn't in much of a talking mood, and I was short with him on the phone. Soon after that, my homehealth nurse called, and said that she was coming to give me an IV. I knew that I was running on empty, my body doesn't absorb my nutrients well, and that this was contributing to my "ill manners." But sin is sin, and it wasn't an excuse to loose self control, become angry and treat my family unkind. After the nurse got the IV going, I began to relax and come to my senses. By the time my husband and son got home from church later that afternoon, I was so sorry for the way I had acted and asked my husband to forgive me. He did for the 10,000th time. Later that evening, we ordered pizza and had friends over to watch the Superbowl. While the guys watched the TV up front, the girls and I hung out in my bedroom and yakked, looked at "skinny and younger folks" in our wedding pictures, and occasionally kept an eye on the game when some of the guys would come back and hang with us. That evening, after everyone had left, and i reflected on the day, I was amazed at how a day could start off so "stormy," and then GOD could calm the seas and bring peace to my soul and to our family once again.

I felt led to share this with you because I want to be honest with you how I struggle with sin. The greater thing I want to share is how much the LORD loves me and you even when we are "ill mannered," even more than we love our children when they are ill mannered. I am so glad that the LORD loves me all the time, including when I act childish and foolish like I did a couple of weeks ago.
As I sat in my sauna one evening this week, I looked up at a poster on the wall that tells who I am in CHRIST. The first thing it listed is that I am a "CHILD of GOD," I John 1:3. I thought about the security of being GOD's child. How we strive to love our children in our human weakness and so often fail them, but GOD never fails us. He says in Psalm 27:10,"Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will take me up." I am so thankful that GOD's grace is sufficient and HIS power is made perfect in our weakness...HE has so many opportunities to show HIS power through us! I pray the LORD will use the weaknesses that our children see in us, to help them to turn to HIM and find HIM the perfect FATHER that HE is to us. He even invites us in Romans 8:15 to call HIM, "Abba Father, which means, Daddy, Daddy." Our "ABBA FATHER" loves us with an everlasting love...and underneath are the Everlasting Arms," Deuteronomy 33:27. How often I sin against GOD, and HE continues to forgive me over and over, like we forgive our children and each other over and over in our family. I am so thankful that the LORD JESUS said to forgive each other seventy times seven...cause we have needed that and so much more in our family!
Right after this happened with me wallowing in my sin on that Sunday morning, I was reading Charles Spurgeon's "Morning and Evening." He talked about the love of the LORD and shared, "Believer, look back through all your experiences and think of the ways in which the LORD your GOD has led you in the wilderness-how HE has fed and clothed you every day: how HE has tolerated your "ill manners," put up with all your grumblings... Think of how HIS grace has been sufficient for you in all your troubles-how HIS blood has been a pardon for you in all your sins...HE who has loved you and pardoned you will never cease to love and pardon." How sweet these words were and are to my soul, as i know that's what the LORD JESUS has and does for me each and every day. How very blessed I am that GOD's grace has been sufficient for me in all my troubles and how thankful I am that HE has led me to a place that knows how to deal with my health struggles. Where would I be, what would I do, if HE had not supplied my needs through the help HE has led me to through the Environmental Health Clinic in Dallas, Texas (www.ehcd.com)? Thankfully, my husband has been able to work hard, and GOD has supplied our needs through his loving care of our family.
How thankful I am that JESUS supplied the greater need of my life of forgiving my sin on the cross of Calvary through suffering HIMSELF. My sin cost HIM everything, that you and I might be healed spiritually..."by HIS stripes we are healed." Eventually, our bodies will have complete physical healing when we are with HIM in glory...but for now, you and I are called as HIS dear and beloved children to follow in HIS steps and "fill up that which is lacking in CHRIST's sufferings" Colossians 1:24. CHRIST suffered for us, and we are going to suffer if we are truly HIS children, Romans 8:17. "Now if we are children, then we are heirs-heirs of GOD and co-heirs with CHRIST, if indeed we share in HIS sufferings in order that we may also share in HIS glory."


As GOD had given me one focus to share with you this week, HE has also given me one song..."Who Am I" by Casting Crowns. What a blessing their songs, their walk with CHRIST, and their transparency about their struggles are to me. As I have listened to these words over and over the past few days, they remind me that though" I am a flower quickly fading, here today and gone tomorrow," that the"LORD of all the earth, cares to know my name and feel my hurt"...that "HE chooses to light the way, for my ever wandering heart, and it is HE that "calms the storm in me." How thankful I am that, "The eyes that see my sin would look on me with love, and watch me rise again." As I thought about that "black stormy" morning in my soul, I remembered how the LORD JESUS provided my physical need for an IV to help my body respond correctly to be able to repent and ask forgiveness. And thankfully through HIS love, my family responded with forgiveness. In doing so HE calmed the storm in my soul and in our home. There is no greater privilege and blessing than to be HIS child and to know that "I am YOURS" ... even when I am "ill-mannered."

With all HIS love,
mitzi


Who Am I? by Casting Crowns

Who am I? That the Lord of all the earth,Would care to know my name,
Would care to feel my hurt.Who am I?
That the bright and morning star,Would choose to light the way,
For my ever wandering heart.

Bridge:

Not because of who I am,But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,But because of who You are.

Chorus:
I am a flower quickly fading,Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean, A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.I am Yours.I am Yours.

Who am I? That the eyes that see my sin
Would look on me with love
And watch me rise again.
Who am I?
That the voice that calmed the sea,
Would call out through the rain,And calm the storm in me.

Not because of who I am,But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.
I am a flower quickly fading,Here today and gone tomorrow
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.
Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling
And You've told me who I am.I am Yours.

Not because of who I am,
But because of what You've done.
Not because of what I've done,
But because of who You are.
I am a flower quickly fading,
Here today and gone tomorrow,
A wave tossed in the ocean,
A vapor in the wind.

Still you hear me when I'm calling,
Lord, you catch me when I'm falling,
And you've told me who I am.
I am Yours.I am Yours.
I am Yours.Whom shall I fear?
Cause I am Yours.

"My Eyes are Dry"

"And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold." Matthew 24:7

Dear Friends,
Thank you so very much for your continued prayers for our family...Johnny is continuing to work more and more, yesterday he had a full day and was really tired last night. His computer crashed earlier this week, with a little help from me it seems:), so that kept him home some earlier this week, getting it repaired and reloading payroll and all the stuff he has on it for work. He 'weathered the storm" of the computer crashing with GOD's grace, and GOD used it to slow him down a little. For those family member's interested, the TV came home this week for the Superbowl and it's still here! I never thought I would praise the LORD about a new TV, but I'm thankful to be able to have it here for my family who enjoys it when Mom isn't around...when I'm around, they are using the little one, and I just thank the LORD for their continued dying to self for me. Please remember the families of those whose lives were affected by the tornadoes this week. One of the young men in our church, David Clay, who attends Union University in Jackson, Tenn. was in his dorm when the tornado hit his building. He is a true hero, as he waited until the last minute to seek shelter to warn others about the storm-we are so thankful the LORD protected David and the rest of the students. Although the campus was greatly damaged, there was no loss of life there.
I wrote last week about GOD answering a prayer, a desperate cry to be honest, to restore my thinking, my memory, and my feelings that I lost about two and a half years ago. As I was reading my devotion book last week I saw where I had written a prayer in the margin that reminded me of that desperate time. A few days later, I saw where I had written another prayer asking for the LORD to restore my health in the margin of my Bible that I also used during that time. I wrote about being in Dallas at the doctor for 3 weeks, searching for answers, and they didn't come very fast. In fact, they were a lot slower than I would have ever chosen. Some of you might have been able to take one pill to help you get over similar problems, but GOD has not chosen to work in my life this way. I know that because I have talked with other women who have had similar symptoms and they take one pill and they are better, and they live happily ever after:). Although I still continue to struggle in these areas, to be honest I'm struggling as I write, I realized last week, how far the LORD has brought me to answer those prayers, and I am so thankful for my patient and diligent doctors who have worked with me through these difficulties to restore my thinking and memory capabilities, the wonderful ability to feel tender emotion again and passion about life.
Earlier this week, our dear pastor's wife came over for lunch and shared with Hannah Beth and me a mission trip that she and our pastor recently took to Peru. I asked her what made the greatest impact on her during their trip there. She told me that it was the people's "dependency upon GOD," because they don't have all the props we have here... the insurance, the fancy homes, the jobs, the cars, the money, all the "things" that we tend to put our trust in here in America instead of the LORD. Our pastor's wife said, "I don't want to loose sight of that" now that she is back home.
As she talked, I realized what a treasure has been mine to have had to depend on the LORD JESUS CHRIST throughout my health struggles. Yes, I have been blessed with so many material possessions, a wonderful family (most of the time:), a dear church family, and the most dear friends, insurance, an overabundance of food, a myriad of conveniences, a nice home, etc. and I am so thankful for all GOD's blessings. But, one of my greatest treasures, and I mean this with all of my heart, has been the struggle of having a "thorn" in the flesh that I wrestle with daily, for it has been "there," that I have learned and am learning to trust in JESUS and see HIS face. It has been "there," that HIS word has become sweet to my soul, and I have learned that "HIS grace is sufficient, and HIS power is made perfect in my weakness." It has been "there" that I have learned how much HE loves me and cares for me, even when I am "ill mannered," and HIS love is sweeter than that of any friend. "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" Proverbs 18:24 says...and that FRIEND is my friend, the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
A dear well meaning friend wrote me earlier this week, and prayed that I would be healed of my struggles. The email said that "I didn't have time for this sickness," and needed to get the "junk" out of my life. Well, it's true I do need to get the "junk" out of me and my life, and I sure didn't mind the prayer for healing, but I want healing to the measure that my life will bring GOD the most glory. This sickness isn't "junk" in my life, but a "gift" the LORD has used to help me stay close to HIM. I thought how many treasures are mine... the treasure of CHRIST becoming so much more real to me, HIS word becoming so alive to me, lessons HE's taught me, dear friends HE's brought into my life through this path, music HE has blessed me with to encourage me, character HE has built in me and my family. How many blessings would my family and me have missed out upon along the way, if I had never been sick. Fanny Crosby, the blind hymn writer wrote when she was 9 years old:

"Oh what a happy soul am I,
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world,
Contented I will be.

How many blessings I enjoy,
That other people don't,
To weep and sigh because I'm blind.
I cannot nor I won't."

I wonder how many hymns would be missing from our hymn books if Fanny Crosby had not been blind? Hymns like, "To GOD be the Glory," "All the Way My Savior Leads Me," Tell Me the Story of JESUS," "JESUS, Keep Me Near the Cross," I am Thine O LORD," "Pass Me Not O Gentle SAVIOR," JESUS is Tenderly Calling,"Blessed Assurance JESUS is Mine," to name of few of the thousands that GOD blessed her with in her physical darkness. Though she was unable to "see" with physical eyes, GOD opened the eyes of her spiritual soul to see HIM and to share HIM in a way that those of us with physical eyes aren't always able to comprehend because of the distractions around us.
There was a powerful devotion I read in "Springs in the Valley," this week that shared how GOD uses the difficult things in our lives to bring forth HIS life in us. Paul shared in 2 Corinthians 1:9, "We had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves." "These are weighty words for all CHRIST's servant's, the reading shares,"but we must be HIS servants in reality, in order to enter into their deep significance. If we are content to live a life of indolence and ease, a life of self-seeking and self-pleasing, it is impossible for us to understand such words... How the professing church has departed from the divine reality of ministry! Where are the Pauls, the Gideons, and the Joshuas? Where are the deep heart-searchings and profound soul exercises, which have characterized Christ's servants in other days? Flippant, worldly, shallow, empty, self-sufficient and self indulgent are we! Need we wonder at the small results? "How can we expect to see life working in others, when we know so little about death working in us? May the eternal Spirit stir us all up! May HE work in us a powerful sense of what it is to be true-hearted, single-eyed, devoted servants of the LORD JESUS CHRIST!
As I read these words, I realized, the one thing in my life that keeps me true-hearted, and single-eyed, apart from the power of the HOLY SPIRIT living inside me, are the difficulties that CHRIST has allowed in my life. In my case, my health struggles keep me focused on HIM and anything that i have worthwhile to share is what HE has taught me through clinging to HIM in my struggles. Otherwise, I am worldly and flippant, and my love for my LORD is easily replaced for the "fluff" of this life.
Keith Green the songwriter and singer I referred to last week, sang a song called, "My Eyes are Dry," back in the early 80's that captures the truth of what can happen to each one of us, when life is too easy and we loose that tenderness we once had as a young CHRISTian on fire for the LORD...our hearts can grow hard, our prayers cold, and we are left "unfeeling" spiritually.

My eyes are dry, my Faith is old
My heart is hard, my prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to YOU, and dead to me

Well what can be done, for an old heart like mine?
Soften it up, with oil and wine
The oil is You, Your Spirit of Love
Please wash me anew, in the wine of Your blood.

As I have been thinking about these words for the past couple of weeks, I realized that just as I had lost my ability to "think, remember and feel" in a physical sense, we as CHRISTians can loose our ability to "think, remember and feel" in a spiritual sense. We can loose our ability to think spiritually by ignoring HIS WORD and inviting the world into our lives. We can forget all that HE has done for us, and develop callous hearts toward sin in our lives and toward the souls of those who don't know CHRIST. It is HIS tender mercies that brings hardship into our lives, to help keep our faith alive and to keep our hearts soft so that our faith will grow strong. We will be able to think with the "mind of CHRIST" and feel that "tender emotion" towards HIM and those HE loves through our lives as we depend on HIM and cling to HIS WORD. There is nothing like suffering to humble us and develop compassion for those around us. GOD knows that and uses that to keep our hearts soft towards others.
I know what it feels like to loose that ability to think clearly in the physical realm, but what a treasure it is to gain it in the spiritual realm because of trouble and hardship that our heavenly FATHER designs just for us so that we will go "deeper" with HIM. I am learning to "Consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2.
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, our GREAT PHYSICIAN, knows how to soften up our old heart and bring us back into the relationship HE longs to be in with us. Often times, that process of softening and healing involves pain, like it has in mine. The GREAT PHYSICIAN knows exactly what it will take to soften up our hearts toward HIM and conform us to the image of HIS SON. HE gives the measure of hardship and discipline in our lives to accomplish that process. "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but GOD disciplines us for our good, that we may share in HIS holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it," Hebrew 12:11.
I am so thankful for my GREAT PHYSICIAN's tender mercies and compassion toward me to keep my heart softened and alive before HIM. I am also so thankful for the compassion and patience my physicians' in Dallas have shown me as GOD has used them to bring physical healing to me. I am on a journey and will one day have "full healing" when i stand in the presence of CHRIST because of the blood HE shed for you and me on the cross for our sins. Until then I am so thankful that HIS"grace is always sufficient and HIS power is made perfect in my weakness." Therefore I will gladly boast in my weaknesses that the power of CHRIST may rest on me," II Corinthians 12:9.

With all HIS love,
mitzi



"The burden of suffering seems a tombstone hung about our necks, while in reality it is only the weight which is necessary to keep down the diver while he is hunting for pearls.
-Richter, Streams in the Desert July 9th

Answering the Greater Prayer

" I will love YOU, O LORD, my strength. The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; My GOD my strength, in whom I trust...In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried out to my GOD; HE heard my voice, and my cry came before HIM, even to HIS ears. Psalm 18:1,6


I will be honest with you this morning, I am struggling with what to write. Today is Thursday (when I wrote this) and although the LORD woke me early, I still am struggling with what to write. I have often told HIM when HE quits laying anything on my heart to share...I'm going to stop writing these emails. It's not that HE hasn't given me something to share...I'm just having trouble with what direction to go...so once again I claim the verse "MY grace is sufficient for you, for MY power is made perfect in weakness." II Corinthians 12:9. LORD, be Thou strong in my weakness to think and submit to what YOU want me to share.
I wanted to write about something more exciting, like kayaking which I've promised my husband I'll wait to warmer weather to do... he really does need me around to put his socks on:), but that is just not what the LORD keeps bringing me back to, HE keeps bringing me back to a prayer, a desire of my heart that HE is slowly answering in my life.
Earlier this week as I was reading my "Morning and Evening" devotion book by Charles Spurgeon, I noticed a prayer that I had jotted down in the margin that said, "I ask you to restore my affection and my memory...please help my memory work better." Above that prayer I had written, "Desire of my heart." I think I wrote that a couple of years ago, because in today's Bible reading in the margin I had written down another prayer with the year beside it- 2006, "LORD, I cry out to you about my health...and thank you that YOU are going to deliver me in YOUR time."
Some of you will remember if you've been reading these emails, that in September of that year, I really, really began having difficulty with my thinking, remembering, and just really struggling with those issues, along with some other things. I can remember just sitting here at my computer chair, not having the energy or wherewith all to focus or do much of anything. Interestingly enough, it was during that difficult time that GOD began giving me the thoughts for these emails... and you my dear friends and family prayed for me. I experienced then and now "HIS power being made perfect in my weakness." I couldn't focus on much, but during those dark and very difficult days, HE would give me something to share.
Between Thanksgiving and December of that year, I spent 3 weeks in Dallas at the clinic(www.ehcd.com) trying to figure out what was wrong. I didn't get a lot of answers during that time, but I sure did experience GOD's grace and have fond memories of special things the LORD did for me, like the Greene's being in Dallas at the clinic the exact same time I was there. I walked by the office one morning and there sat Tony and Taranda Greene on the couch...I couldn't believe my eyes! Getting to visit with them and go hear them sing along with a dear friend who works at the clinic was such a special blessing as we got to visit with them for an extra long time after the concert on their bus. People there at the clinic lovingly cared for me when I couldn't care for myself, and the song "Praise You in the Storm," by Casting Crowns became my alma mater for that time. I played it constantly in my room on my Ipod...getting down on my knees and crying out to the LORD in the midst of the storm, Praising HIM even though I didn't understand these new trials HE had allowed in my life. My daughter had put the ring tone on my cell phone, "When you call on JESUS, all things are possible...," by Nicole C. Mullen. What a sweet loving reminder to me of JESUS' love for me and HIS power each time the phone rang during those days I was searching for answers and was away from my family.
I wish I could tell you that GOD just delivered me and brought me through that time real fast...but HE didn't. Instead HE has allowed me to go through a lot of twists and turns, opening and closing doors as my doctors have worked diligently with me to help restore my thinking, memory, and energy levels.
When I saw that prayer request this week that I had written in the margin of my devotion book, the LORD suddenly reminded me that HE has been answering that prayer and desire of my heart in my life. Not as fast as I would have like for things to gone, but on HIS timetable. As I having been thinking,( that's a good sign) about some changes that are occurring in me, I am encouraged, and very thankful for the healing HE is bringing about, and the wisdom HE has given my doctors to help me. Along the way, HE reminded me this morning...HE has caused me to lean on HIM, depend on HIM, and walk with HIM, in a way that I wouldn't have otherwise and I praise HIM for the underlying work HE is doing in areas I don't even realize.
This morning I read from "Words of Comfort and Cheer," and it shared , "Sorrow comes into every life; we cannot shut it away but we can be conquerors in it. When the snow melts away in the springtime, I have often seen under it sweet flowers in bloom. The very drifts are like warm blankets to keep them safe. So it is with sorrow: under the cold snows of grief the flowers of the CHRISTian graces grow unhurt...The love of CHRIST does not harden the heart; it really makes it more sensitive." One of the neat things coming to me from underneath the "snow" is a sensitive heart, the ability to feel tender emotion again. How i thank the LORD for that gift and for hearing and answering my cry to HIM.

I am learning that affliction is one of my best friends. I still don't like it...the fire hurts so much, but I am learning to love CHRIST in the midst of it, and more importantly that HE loves me so much in the midst of it. HE knows what HE is doing through the fire and the plans HE has down the road for it. Psalm 119:71 says, "It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees." This is so true...if it were not for my afflictions I would be living life in the fast track, spending a whole lot less time with the LORD in prayer and study where HE is continuing to reveal HIMself to me. My flesh would a whole lot rather be running around doing something than being slowed down. My loving heavenly FATHER always knows what's best for my life to make me the most like CHRIST and to bear the most fruit for HIM.
The kids and I read the children's version to "Hind's Feet on High Places," an allegory of the CHRISTian life, a few years ago. The author Hannah Hurnard, knew the truth that affliction is GOD's ways of maturing us and bringing joy into our lives. "Much Afraid," is a young girl who wants to go to the High Places with her CHIEF SHEPHERD, JESUS. As she sets out on her way, HE sends her two companions to accompany her, Sorrow and Suffering. These companions usher her up to her new companions, farther down the road, called "Grace and Glory." The older I get in CHRIST, the more I understand this is how HE continually works in each of HIS children's lives to mature us and conform us to the image of HIS SON, by sending us sorrowing and suffering to be our companions. How thankful I am to our wise and loving FATHER who knows exactly what we need to help us love HIM more, and be useful for HIM here and for all eternity.

Some of you may remember Keith Green, the Christian singer back in the early 80's who was killed in a plane crash with two of his young children. He wrote many powerful songs, like "My Eyes are Dry," "Create in me a Clean Heart," and one of my favorites that was sung at our wedding is called, "Make My Life a Prayer To You. As I have written this email and reflected on it, I realize that the LORD took me at my word:) when we had that song sung as a prayer to HIM at our wedding. HE has answered the "greater prayer" of making my life a prayer to HIM through the twists and turns HE so lovingly guides me through in my own journey to the "High Places." The second verse amazed me as I thought about how HE is answering this prayer in my life: "I wanna die and let you give YOUR life to me so I might live and share the hope YOU gave to me, the love that's set me free. I wanna tell the world out there You're not some fable or fairy tale, that I've made up inside my head, You're GOD the Son, YOU've risen from dead."
I do want my life to be a prayer to JESUS, and I understand more and more the cost of GOD answering that prayer in my life. I don't choose pain, but when HE sends it to answer that prayer, I am learning to embrace it and thank HIM for it. HE has allowed us "A Chance to Die" as Amy Carmichael says, in many ways, big and small throughout our marriage. HE is teaching me to love HIM and trust HIM with each prayer I see HIM answering, in answer to the greater prayer of my life, to "Make My Life a Prayer" to HIM.
Thank you so much for your continued prayers for our family. We believe with all our heart that Johnny has done well because of GOD answering your prayers on our behalf. He is continuing to get better each day, although since he's been working some he is experiencing some turbulences...please pray for his wisdom not to overdo it. Thank you for continuing to remember us. I sure don't mind you asking the LORD to continue healing me too, inside and out, to the measure that will bring HIM the most glory. GOD is doing some neat things through this time, and we are so thankful HE used our insurance to pay the "amazing" bill for Johnny's surgery. We praise the LORD for providing for all our needs in CHRIST JESUS, and for giving me the grace to share these thoughts with you in this email. HE is so faithful to hear and answer our prayers, even the "greater prayers," when we cry out to HIM.

With all HIS love,
mitzi