"My Eyes are Dry"

"And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold." Matthew 24:7

Dear Friends,
Thank you so very much for your continued prayers for our family...Johnny is continuing to work more and more, yesterday he had a full day and was really tired last night. His computer crashed earlier this week, with a little help from me it seems:), so that kept him home some earlier this week, getting it repaired and reloading payroll and all the stuff he has on it for work. He 'weathered the storm" of the computer crashing with GOD's grace, and GOD used it to slow him down a little. For those family member's interested, the TV came home this week for the Superbowl and it's still here! I never thought I would praise the LORD about a new TV, but I'm thankful to be able to have it here for my family who enjoys it when Mom isn't around...when I'm around, they are using the little one, and I just thank the LORD for their continued dying to self for me. Please remember the families of those whose lives were affected by the tornadoes this week. One of the young men in our church, David Clay, who attends Union University in Jackson, Tenn. was in his dorm when the tornado hit his building. He is a true hero, as he waited until the last minute to seek shelter to warn others about the storm-we are so thankful the LORD protected David and the rest of the students. Although the campus was greatly damaged, there was no loss of life there.
I wrote last week about GOD answering a prayer, a desperate cry to be honest, to restore my thinking, my memory, and my feelings that I lost about two and a half years ago. As I was reading my devotion book last week I saw where I had written a prayer in the margin that reminded me of that desperate time. A few days later, I saw where I had written another prayer asking for the LORD to restore my health in the margin of my Bible that I also used during that time. I wrote about being in Dallas at the doctor for 3 weeks, searching for answers, and they didn't come very fast. In fact, they were a lot slower than I would have ever chosen. Some of you might have been able to take one pill to help you get over similar problems, but GOD has not chosen to work in my life this way. I know that because I have talked with other women who have had similar symptoms and they take one pill and they are better, and they live happily ever after:). Although I still continue to struggle in these areas, to be honest I'm struggling as I write, I realized last week, how far the LORD has brought me to answer those prayers, and I am so thankful for my patient and diligent doctors who have worked with me through these difficulties to restore my thinking and memory capabilities, the wonderful ability to feel tender emotion again and passion about life.
Earlier this week, our dear pastor's wife came over for lunch and shared with Hannah Beth and me a mission trip that she and our pastor recently took to Peru. I asked her what made the greatest impact on her during their trip there. She told me that it was the people's "dependency upon GOD," because they don't have all the props we have here... the insurance, the fancy homes, the jobs, the cars, the money, all the "things" that we tend to put our trust in here in America instead of the LORD. Our pastor's wife said, "I don't want to loose sight of that" now that she is back home.
As she talked, I realized what a treasure has been mine to have had to depend on the LORD JESUS CHRIST throughout my health struggles. Yes, I have been blessed with so many material possessions, a wonderful family (most of the time:), a dear church family, and the most dear friends, insurance, an overabundance of food, a myriad of conveniences, a nice home, etc. and I am so thankful for all GOD's blessings. But, one of my greatest treasures, and I mean this with all of my heart, has been the struggle of having a "thorn" in the flesh that I wrestle with daily, for it has been "there," that I have learned and am learning to trust in JESUS and see HIS face. It has been "there," that HIS word has become sweet to my soul, and I have learned that "HIS grace is sufficient, and HIS power is made perfect in my weakness." It has been "there" that I have learned how much HE loves me and cares for me, even when I am "ill mannered," and HIS love is sweeter than that of any friend. "There is a friend that sticks closer than a brother" Proverbs 18:24 says...and that FRIEND is my friend, the LORD JESUS CHRIST.
A dear well meaning friend wrote me earlier this week, and prayed that I would be healed of my struggles. The email said that "I didn't have time for this sickness," and needed to get the "junk" out of my life. Well, it's true I do need to get the "junk" out of me and my life, and I sure didn't mind the prayer for healing, but I want healing to the measure that my life will bring GOD the most glory. This sickness isn't "junk" in my life, but a "gift" the LORD has used to help me stay close to HIM. I thought how many treasures are mine... the treasure of CHRIST becoming so much more real to me, HIS word becoming so alive to me, lessons HE's taught me, dear friends HE's brought into my life through this path, music HE has blessed me with to encourage me, character HE has built in me and my family. How many blessings would my family and me have missed out upon along the way, if I had never been sick. Fanny Crosby, the blind hymn writer wrote when she was 9 years old:

"Oh what a happy soul am I,
Although I cannot see,
I am resolved that in this world,
Contented I will be.

How many blessings I enjoy,
That other people don't,
To weep and sigh because I'm blind.
I cannot nor I won't."

I wonder how many hymns would be missing from our hymn books if Fanny Crosby had not been blind? Hymns like, "To GOD be the Glory," "All the Way My Savior Leads Me," Tell Me the Story of JESUS," "JESUS, Keep Me Near the Cross," I am Thine O LORD," "Pass Me Not O Gentle SAVIOR," JESUS is Tenderly Calling,"Blessed Assurance JESUS is Mine," to name of few of the thousands that GOD blessed her with in her physical darkness. Though she was unable to "see" with physical eyes, GOD opened the eyes of her spiritual soul to see HIM and to share HIM in a way that those of us with physical eyes aren't always able to comprehend because of the distractions around us.
There was a powerful devotion I read in "Springs in the Valley," this week that shared how GOD uses the difficult things in our lives to bring forth HIS life in us. Paul shared in 2 Corinthians 1:9, "We had the sentence of death in ourselves, that we should not trust in ourselves." "These are weighty words for all CHRIST's servant's, the reading shares,"but we must be HIS servants in reality, in order to enter into their deep significance. If we are content to live a life of indolence and ease, a life of self-seeking and self-pleasing, it is impossible for us to understand such words... How the professing church has departed from the divine reality of ministry! Where are the Pauls, the Gideons, and the Joshuas? Where are the deep heart-searchings and profound soul exercises, which have characterized Christ's servants in other days? Flippant, worldly, shallow, empty, self-sufficient and self indulgent are we! Need we wonder at the small results? "How can we expect to see life working in others, when we know so little about death working in us? May the eternal Spirit stir us all up! May HE work in us a powerful sense of what it is to be true-hearted, single-eyed, devoted servants of the LORD JESUS CHRIST!
As I read these words, I realized, the one thing in my life that keeps me true-hearted, and single-eyed, apart from the power of the HOLY SPIRIT living inside me, are the difficulties that CHRIST has allowed in my life. In my case, my health struggles keep me focused on HIM and anything that i have worthwhile to share is what HE has taught me through clinging to HIM in my struggles. Otherwise, I am worldly and flippant, and my love for my LORD is easily replaced for the "fluff" of this life.
Keith Green the songwriter and singer I referred to last week, sang a song called, "My Eyes are Dry," back in the early 80's that captures the truth of what can happen to each one of us, when life is too easy and we loose that tenderness we once had as a young CHRISTian on fire for the LORD...our hearts can grow hard, our prayers cold, and we are left "unfeeling" spiritually.

My eyes are dry, my Faith is old
My heart is hard, my prayers are cold
And I know how I ought to be
Alive to YOU, and dead to me

Well what can be done, for an old heart like mine?
Soften it up, with oil and wine
The oil is You, Your Spirit of Love
Please wash me anew, in the wine of Your blood.

As I have been thinking about these words for the past couple of weeks, I realized that just as I had lost my ability to "think, remember and feel" in a physical sense, we as CHRISTians can loose our ability to "think, remember and feel" in a spiritual sense. We can loose our ability to think spiritually by ignoring HIS WORD and inviting the world into our lives. We can forget all that HE has done for us, and develop callous hearts toward sin in our lives and toward the souls of those who don't know CHRIST. It is HIS tender mercies that brings hardship into our lives, to help keep our faith alive and to keep our hearts soft so that our faith will grow strong. We will be able to think with the "mind of CHRIST" and feel that "tender emotion" towards HIM and those HE loves through our lives as we depend on HIM and cling to HIS WORD. There is nothing like suffering to humble us and develop compassion for those around us. GOD knows that and uses that to keep our hearts soft towards others.
I know what it feels like to loose that ability to think clearly in the physical realm, but what a treasure it is to gain it in the spiritual realm because of trouble and hardship that our heavenly FATHER designs just for us so that we will go "deeper" with HIM. I am learning to "Consider it pure joy...whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2.
The LORD JESUS CHRIST, our GREAT PHYSICIAN, knows how to soften up our old heart and bring us back into the relationship HE longs to be in with us. Often times, that process of softening and healing involves pain, like it has in mine. The GREAT PHYSICIAN knows exactly what it will take to soften up our hearts toward HIM and conform us to the image of HIS SON. HE gives the measure of hardship and discipline in our lives to accomplish that process. "Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but GOD disciplines us for our good, that we may share in HIS holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it," Hebrew 12:11.
I am so thankful for my GREAT PHYSICIAN's tender mercies and compassion toward me to keep my heart softened and alive before HIM. I am also so thankful for the compassion and patience my physicians' in Dallas have shown me as GOD has used them to bring physical healing to me. I am on a journey and will one day have "full healing" when i stand in the presence of CHRIST because of the blood HE shed for you and me on the cross for our sins. Until then I am so thankful that HIS"grace is always sufficient and HIS power is made perfect in my weakness." Therefore I will gladly boast in my weaknesses that the power of CHRIST may rest on me," II Corinthians 12:9.

With all HIS love,
mitzi



"The burden of suffering seems a tombstone hung about our necks, while in reality it is only the weight which is necessary to keep down the diver while he is hunting for pearls.
-Richter, Streams in the Desert July 9th